Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There's always time for handjobs
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
