Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
