I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
