woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
