evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
