But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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