he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
