yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
