I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Alive.
So much puke
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
