i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
