i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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