Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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