i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
