if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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