I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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