yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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