well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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