So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
