I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
