We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
