OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
