i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
