We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
