Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Randomize
