Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
