Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
