i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
