I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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