so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
PANTIES FOUND
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
