we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
