ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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