can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
