I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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