Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
