coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
