i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i came on her dog
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
