textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
