I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
