Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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