if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
