Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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