her vagine was all disorganized.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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