yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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