Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
