North Korea, Best Korea!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
