Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
