Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I don't think brook has ever known best
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
