Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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