Houston, we have a squirter
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
