Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
We have so much sex to catch up on
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
