Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
