it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
