her vagine was all disorganized.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
